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How Not to Put Your Foot in Your Mouth on the First Date

pheromonesFor obvious reasons, there aren't a lot of people that are going to be interested in you if you show up at a face-to-face meeting in hideous and ill-fitting clothes while smelling of substances best not contemplated. However, it is important not to exaggerate the importance of the exterior when it comes to attracting members of the sex in which you are interested. If only because there are serious limits to how much even the most beautiful exterior can conceal when it is matched to a hollow interior.

That said, people being people, seeing past the exterior to the interior is a lot easier said than done. In fact, it is not seen so much as revealed piece-by-piece over the course of the interaction between two people, with each piece revealed of one person serving to either intrigue or bore the other. As a result, if you want to be successful with someone that you like, you need to make sure that you say the right things on your first date. Or at the bare minimum, make sure that you say nothing that you really, really shouldn't have.

Good conversational skills are a matter of practice, but here are some simple reminders of what to say and perhaps more importantly what not to say on your first date:

  • Most people prefer being casual rather than formal with their loved ones, but a first date is much too soon for that. As a result, having good manners is something that will serve you well because it shows that you are willing to make an effort for your date. Not to mention its usefulness for preventing offense in an uncertain social situation. With that said, make sure that your good manners extend to everyone with whim you will interact over the course of your date, if only because failure in this regard can make you seem completely and utterly two-faced. Something that you need to avoid at all costs when it comes to any social occasion with anyone.
  • On a related note, make sure to treat others with a measure of care and consideration. Showing kindness can prove to be an inconvenience at times, but under most circumstances, it can move metaphoric mountains in exchange for minimal cost. In this as in other things, remember the Golden Rule of treating your date as you would like to be treated yourself. However, make sure to distinguish false kindness from the real article. For example, if you are not interested in a second date, it is probably better to tell your date upfront rather than fool them with sweet words and fob them off with false promises. If only because most people really, really hate that kind of thing.
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  • Honesty really is the best policy when it comes to first dates. In main, this is because once uttered, each lie is a measure of trust that can never be regained. However, it is worth mentioning how even the smallest lies can call for a lot of maintenance, meaning that their unraveling is more-or-less inevitable.
  • Remember that being too honest has its fair share of problems. If your date asks you about previous partners, be sure to answer honestly but also be sure to leave mention of your regrets and mistakes for a later occasion. After all, you are there to build a connection, not scare off your date with the size and scale of your emotional baggage. It is alright for you to emphasize your best points on a first date rather than ramble on and on about your personal life in exhaustive detail.
  • Above all else, you need to be yourself when you are on a first date because you want your date to like you for who you are. Likewise, you want to like your date for whoever he or she happens to be, so be sure to pay attention. A successful conversation isn't successful unless you are learning as much about your date as he or she is learning about you.

If you are having problems sustaining a successful conversation while you are out on your date, remember that it is not the end of the world even if you mess up. So long as you are willing to continue making an effort, you will improve over time, so much so that you will find success sooner rather than later.

   

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